Just got back from my lunch DATE with Dylan! Totally not what I had expected. He was flirting the whole time and attempting A LOT of physical contact! (gently stroking my hand! gah!)
I thought he just wanted to be friends. That’s what HE SAID anyways. But today he told me that he had been thinking about me a lot since we broke up, and he’s been seeing lots of “catty” women in the past year (he used another term but I’m too polite to say it). He said that hanging out with me at Mother’s Thanksgiving was “just what the doctor ordered.”
Not MY Doctor! My doctor (doctor Val) has been enjoying my time off from dating. Now Dylan wants me to think about giving our relationship another chance. He seemed really earnest, and he IS a nice guy, and he did say that he wouldn’t get involved with me and my mother again…
But I’d feel like a quitter if I broke my vow now, and I’d actually be quite disappointed with myself. Not only that but I’m not sure I want to start seeing Dylan again.
Hmm…time to put my thinking cap on. I don’t want to make any sudden moves I’ll regret.
Also, I should REALLY get back to work. ;)
You’re very charitable to Dylan, a testament to your good nature. Let’s remember that he was always trying to fix you, even control you. That doesn’t make him a “nice guy.” He may be charming, he may be well-intentioned, he was definitely smothering you when you dated; you dumped him for good reason.
You’re awesome. You don’t need fixing. For the love of all that’s holy, please don’t make the mistake of thinking he’s changed — instead of declaring his true intentions, seeing you again, he played your mother for a “dinner invite”. Sure, it might’ve been awkward to contact you directly, but it would’ve been more honest. But he didn’t do it because that would mean giving you power; he’s not interested in letting you control the situation. Manipulation rears it’s ugly head, again.
Dylan sucks. Kick him to the curb.
GOOD POINT. I didn’t even think of that! He was being underhanded in coming to my mother’s event – why wouldn’t he just call me and make plans with me on his own? Instead he trapped me into having a conversation with him. He didn’t even need to go to my mother’s Thanksgiving thing at all! Yeah, he’s not honest, and honesty is such an important part of relationships. NEXT!!!
It doesn’t take super vision to see what’s coming next … your own instincts are already warning you off. There’s a reason you’re not sure you want to date him again. I can see through the manipulative jerk. I think you can too, in your own way.
Stick to your guns; no dates for six months. Go one better; no dates with Dylan, ever.
You’re right! I think I was just worried that if I let an opportunity go by then I might regret it later. But why would I regret it? I didn’t regret it last time when we broke up. Yup, I’m gonna stick to my guns. My big guns!