Today was kinda a weird day…but not a bad day!
When I got up this morning, I was still thinking about Tim and was REALLY tempted to call him. But what would I have said?
“Hi Tim…just thinking a lot about you and feeling some serious regret…no big deal. Oh, do I want a relationship with you? Uh, I don’t even know actually. Sorry to waste your time!”
OR…
“Sure, I’d love to meet your new girlfriend! (not!)”
And then my decision to NOT call him was confirmed when I read a few comments on my blog! Thanks so much for your help PhantomObserver and SexyNerdReader! You guys really helped a girl out. How’d you get so wise?
ANYWAYS, what I did instead was go out with Kumar again! And it was really fun! Okay, so I broke my rule and talked about Tim, and he talked about his ex…but I think that’s okay. This is only the beginning and if this is what’s happening…then this is what’s happening and that’s okay by me. We talked about other stuff too, and it was really comfortable. A comfort level that might have come from talking so much about our damned exes! (Pardon my Français…)
So I’m excited to see Kumar again, and maybe one day I’ll contact Tim…but not today!
As someone too nerdy, even for ComicCon, I confess I don’t have a plethora of experience with relationships. My spidey senses are tingling though, as I recall the wisdom I’ve picked up over the years.
Kumar seems cool with you talking about Tim, and you seem cool about hearing about his past. Being vulnerable and opening up is a good thing, in the right circumstance. As you said, it can create comfort.
One question: why does he keep talking about his ex when he’s with you? Why not put her behind him and focus on the awesomeness that’s in front of him?
Talking about exes a lot early in any relationship can be a bad sign. I made this mistake with two of my nerd partners. The first thought I sounded bitter about the ex and ran scared. The second thought I was still hung up on the ex and ran scared.
Kumar doesn’t seem bitter, yay for that, but I think it’s time you stick to your rule about dodging chit chat about the exes to gauge his inner awesomeness.
You’ve sorted out your feelings for Tim for the time being, meaning you’re probably not going to bring him up for a while. This is a good chance to see how Kumar responds. If he keeps talking about his ex, maybe you should take a close look at the situation: why the heck won’t he talk about something else?
If he stops talking about her, it’s probably out of his system too, freeing you both up to create nerd magic in the new release racks, rather than dwelling in the back issues.
Good advice! On my next date with Kumar I vow I shall put this advice to good use! Thank you!