My insides feel squeamish! My head is buzzing!
To get to the point, Kumar dropped a rather large bomb last night: he wants to take things to the next level.
The next level?? What IS that exactly? Basically, to not see other people and make things more serious. Totally reasonable, I get that…but I’m still freaked out a little by the commitment. What do I say?? I just gave him a kind of non-committal answer to bide my time and do some soul-searching…but that won’t last forever.
AM I ready for this?
To be honest, “under 30 days” does not strike me as being an ideal period before advancing to “the next level.”
It occurs to me that what you really need is a date or event that lets you see Kumar under a great deal of stress. Examples:
A) potluck dinner with your mom
B) all-day activity like a hike or Marineland or Niagara
C) Fan Expo
D) Guest appearance on your vlog
It seems fast to me too. But I have to respect what he wants. Maybe I’ll invite him to the Pride Parade with me this weekend? That is a fun, but also STRESSFUL time because of the crowds. And he’d meet some of my more “out there” friends. It’ll be good to see how he reacts under those circumstances.
I admire the man for going after what he wants. As you said, it’s totally reasonable for him to want to take things to the next level. It’s equally reasonable for you to be freaked out.
I’m no Sexy Nerd Girl but I bet you can twist some basic words into something cool:
“Kumar, I’ve loved the time we spent together. Things are superb. The commitment thing will take time for me. I need to know more about you before I can make this kind of choice. I’d love for you to know more about me too, so you know what you’re in for. Can we keep things the same and see how things unfold? If we’re still looking this good in a few months, I’ll have peace of mind and you’ll be a lot happier with someone who’s sure of what she wants. What do you think?”
YES! Ideally, he’ll be okay with us just continuing as we’ve been going! That’s what I’d really want. I’m in no rush, and I need time to adjust. I can’t just be in a serious relationship at the drop of a hat. I’ll talk to him about this on the weekend! Thanks for your help!